Grand Theft Auto: Bird Kid Edition
by BrokenSky49
Summary: "I knew that my flock didn't do typical things for entertainment, but this? I mean, letting an eight year old drive a car never really could lead to something good. Of course, letting me drive could prove to be worse. Especially when it's my mom's car that we, uh, "borrowed." After this, I'm never getting behind the wheel again." Typical flock mischief. Enjoy!


**Hello everyone!**

**So this one-shot is for my challenge, ONE SHOT A WEEK. Every seven days, I will be posting a one shot! Awesome, huh? You can join too! Whenever you want to start, write a one shot for each week of the months March and April.**

**In other news, I updated my story, _Masks,_ a little less than a week ago. Go check it out!**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one-shot, and the several more that are to come!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, or Grand Theft Auto, although I do like the title.**

**Leave a review telling me how it was! And all mistakes are mine!**

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Over my years as a mutant bird kid, I've noticed that the the average person does normal things to pass time. They go to the movies, bowling, mini golfing, hanging out at the mall. You know, like a normal person.

And then there's us.

I guess that makes us above average...

Or below, I haven't decided yet.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we, the flock, don't spend whatever free time we have the way normal, _sane_ people would. No, of course not! Why would we? We're mutant bird kids! There's no possible way we could act as civilized human beings while we stayed at my mom's house for some R and R!

Instead, some of us do the next best thing; borrow Dr. M's car.

Isn't it fun to have unlicensed, inexperienced bird children that can barely work a modern computer drive a car that _isn't theirs _down an extremely busy highway?

No, I didn't think so.

So, you could imagine my horror when I learned that some certain flock members decided to take my mother's car for a spin. Down a highway. With an eight year old driving.

Yeah. Exactly.

What possessed Iggy, Gazzy, and Angel to take the car, the world may never know. But what I did know was that I was going to kick their sorry little butts when we got back.

Which brings me to my current situation.

I'm stuck in the car with them.

"Gazzy! What the heck are you _doing?_"

"Come on, Max! Lighten up! Iggy is teaching me all the controls and everything!"

"You're letting the _blind_ guy show you how to _drive_? Did you even think that you could possibly kill us, and any other poor soul that's driving now!" I cringed as we hit a curb, finally leaving the dangers of the highway. I turned around to see several cars, probably over forty of them, all stopped in the middle of the road.

Angel giggled. "Don't worry, Max. I made them all stop so no one would get hurt." She smiled sweetly at me, but I just scowled.

"Did it ever occur to you that _we_ might be the ones to get hurt here?"

"Aw, Max! It's not like this isn't my first time!" Gazzy yelled from up front.

"Wait, you've done this _before?_" Oh, they were so dead.

I saw Iggy smack Gazzy on the head. "You weren't supposed to let her know, man!"

"Oops."

"Just how many times have you done this before?" Oh goodness, Dr. M was going to kill us.

"Well, mainly Iggy drives, but he's been letting me try it the past few times! I don't know why you have to wait until you're older to drive. Heck, I'm eight, and I'm doing perfectly fine!"

"You just almost hit a sign!"

"But the main point is, he didn't."

"Shut up Iggy. And _what the heck were you thinking_? You let an eight year old drive? _You _were driving? How stupid _are _you?"

"Come on, Max! Isn't this thrilling? Exciting? You know you love it."

"I'm stuck in a car with a bunch of idiots!"

"Hey!" Angel looked insulted in the back seat next to me.

"I can't believe you mind controlled me into getting in this car. I bet you were in on it when they were off doing their little road trips, weren't you?"

"Maybeee..." She giggled and smiled at me.

"Don't you dare play innocent, missy. I know that this was your idea."

"Okay, maybe it was. But you've been so up tight lately! We just thought that you should have a bit of fun and relax. Take a break."

I sighed. "Angel, I appreciate your concern," I smiled at her and ruffled her hair, "But this isn't very relaxing."

Gazzy spoke up from the front. "Max! Give a try! You'll love it!"

"What? No!" There was no way I would be driving this thing. I mean, I had driven before, and it had been kind of fun, but I wasn't exactly an expert. And it was my mom's car...

"How about this; if you take this car for a little test drive, we'll go home right after. Deal?"

Well, if it would get us to go home...

"Deal."

What the heck have I just gotten myself into?

Gazzy pulled over. And not badly for an eight year old, I might add. I plopped into the front seat, feeling a bit nervous. Iggy showed me what a bunch of controls did. He knew a lot more about how to drive a car than I expected.

"...And this is where you turn on your windshield wipers. Hopefully it won't start raining, but if it does, I don't want you to kill us because you can't see."

"But apparently you've driven, and _you_ can't see."

"Yeah, but I'm good at it."

I playfully hit him on the arm, and he finally finished up showing me everything. I pulled off the curb, maybe a little faster than I should have, but hey, I was basically still learning.

I guess it was too fast though, because a cop turned on his lights behind me.

Well this wasn't good.

"Uh, Max. If you pull over, we'll probably get arrested, you know, since we don't technically exist according to the government. And you don't have a license. And us going to jail would not be a good thing, because of the wings and all."

Crap. Iggy had a point.

"Max?"

"Yeah, Angel?"

"Are we about to get involved in a car chase?"

I thought for a moment, weighing our options.

1.) I could pull over, suffer the consequences, and very likely allow Itex to get a whiff of our location, which wasn't good.

2.) Pull over, quickly do a U and A, and go home, but let all the bystanders see our wings. And by now, there were a lot, because, this being a very small town, watching someone get pulled over was the most exciting thing to happen all week. And once again let Itex know our location.

3.) Use Angel's mind control powers on the cop. I hated asking her to do that, considering we always told her it was wrong. And it looked like two other cops joined the one that was already behind us. Getting pulled over by three cops and getting away with nothing? If that doesn't cause suspicion, I don't know what does.

4.) Get involved in a full blown, epic car chase like in the Bourne movies? I wasn't sure of what the result could be, but our location would remain a secret from Itex, no one would start questioning the police department about why they weren't doing their job, no one would know about the wings, and no one would go to jail. If we actually got away, of course.

Well, that was it then. "It looks like it, Angel."

I heard shouts of excitement coming from Iggy and the Gasman.

"Dude, this is gonna be awesome!" Iggy was practically giddy with excitement. " I guess it's a good thing we switched out the license plates with that other Volvo down the street, huh? You know, the one that looks just like this one apparently?"

"Let's not say anything until we're sure we're gonna get away..." I sped up, which only increased the amount of shouting from the boys. I glanced behind me nervously. There were four cops now. Great. "And, wait what? _You switched the license plates?_ You know what, I'm going to pretend that you _didn't_ do that." I huffed. Really, these guys need to learn a little self-control. But, I guess it did help. Now they couldn't trace the car back to Dr. M. But that didn't mean that they couldn't catch us and find her anyway. I gulped. This had better end well.

"Don't worry, Max. We'll get out of this." Angel said from the back. Oh boy, did I hope she was right.

**She is Max. With my help, you'll be fine.**

I literally jumped out of my seat. _What the heck? Out of all the times to show up, you choose now? _

**I can help you, Maximum. You just have to trust me. Take a right at the next turn.**

I paused for a moment. The turn the Voice wanted me to make was quickly approaching.

**Just trust me, Max.**

I cringed, and took a sharp turn right.

"Max! That turn was awesome! But you do know this road leads back to the highway, right?" Gazzy said from behind me.

"_What_?" You've got to be kidding me._ Was it your plan to have us murdered by car accident on the highway or something? Because that's exactly what's gonna happen!_

**I told you. Maximum. Just listen to me, and you'll be fine.**

Great. I was taking aggresive driving lessons ftom a Voice inside my head.

"He said that it leads to the highway!" Iggy reiterated. I groaned. Why did I agree to this?

I got onto the highway, somehow managing not to smash into any oncoming vehicles along the way. I looked behind me again. Still four cops, but they certainly did not look very happy. I sped up, going well over the highway speed limit by now.

**Move into the left lane.**

I quickly obeyed There was no time for me to start questioning my Voice now.

**Just keep going straight. Most of the cars have pulled over, thanks to Angel. No need to worry about an accident.**

Well that's conveniant.

I gripped the steering wheel, going as fast as the little Volvo could take us. Which wasn't very much, since there was a cop almost next to us.

"Ma-ax! Go faster!"

"What do you think I'm trying to do Gazzy?" I grumbled out.

"You're only in third gear, you can go to fourth and increase your speed!"

Oh. Right.

"I knew that!" Okay, not really. I didnt have much experience driving in the first place, let alone a manuel car. I quickly moved the car into fourth gear, and our speed increased significantly.

"That's it, Max! Go, go, go!" Gazzy yelled.

"You know what we need? Some epic car chase music!" I saw Iggy grin from the corner of my eye as he took out his ipod and plugged it in. I groaned inwardly, afraid of what he would put on.

I almost face palmed when "Eye of the Tiger" came over the stereo.

"Yeah!" Gazzy yelled, pumping his fist in the air.

"Max, what's that noise?" Angel spoke up behind me.

"What?!" I yelled, not being able to hear over the stereo and Iggy singing.

"I hear something, like a whirring noise."

I concentrated on the noise, finally able to hear what Angel was talking abour. I looked out the window, and what I saw made me want to hurl. "We're being tracked by a freaking helicopter!"

"No way!" The Gasman yelled, making Angel cringe next to him. "This is so cool!"

"Cool? You think this is _cool?_ You're not the one trying to drive out of this mess!"

"Don't be such a Debbie Downer, Max! Have some fun with it! How many times have you been in a full blown car chase?"

"Well-"

"Being chased by the school doesn't count."

I scowled. "Never. But that doesn't mean I ever wanted to!"

**Max, here is an opening. Take the exit on the right.**

I almost jumped again, having forgotten that the Voice was guiding me in this whole screwed up mess. _Right, whatever you say, Voice._

I saw the exit quickly approaching on the right. Of course, it was blocked by a maze of cars. Attempting to weave through them, I layed on the horn, hoping that they would get the hint and move out of the way.

"Stop your vehicle! We have the highway blocked! I repeat, stop your vehicle!"

"Cr-raapppp." I muttered to myself as a voice pierced the air. I assumed it was from the low flying helicopter, since I saw a man with a large mega phone. I put my face down so that no one could see it, and the others quickly did the same.

"Max," Angel's voice came up from behind me. "I really regret doing this now." Her voice betrayed her fear.

"It's okay, Angel. I've got a plan." I lied smoothly. But then, a plan suddenly formed in my mind. "Yo, Iggy, you got that Turbodestroyer thing you made?"

He scoffed. "Do I? Of course I do! I bring that thing everywhere!"

Well, that worried me slightly. "You mean to say that you've carried this bomb everywhere we've gone for the past week?"

"Um, duh."

I shook my head. "Whatever. Get it ready. We're gonna blow this car sky high." _Oh, gosh. My mom is going to _kill_ me, bring me back to life, and kill me again._ But I didn't see any other way. "Alright. Things are about to get a little bumpy."

I gritted my teeth and swiftly veered off the road and into a small woody area. Thanks to the car's smallness, I was able to navigate through the trees and into a mini clearing. I scrambled out of the car, already hearing a cop running through the trees on foot. "Quick, Iggy. You've gotta blow up this car. No one can trace it back to Dr. M."

Iggy smiled evilly. "Oh, no one will even know that this used to be a car when the Turbodestroyer takes care of it."

"Good. But we gotta draw the cops away from it so they don't get blown sky high. Hey Angel, wanna help me distract them?"

Angel giggled, reading the plan I had formulated in my mind. "I wouldn't miss this! Count me in!"

"Great. Gazzy, help Iggy. Let's go, Angel." I quickly ran in the direction of the cops, screaming. "Help! Help us! We've been kidnapped!"

Angel played her part as the younger sister nicely by bawling her eyes out. "Help us! A mean man came and took us and now I'm really scared!" She started wailing for effect. It wasn't difficult to pass as two victims, considering that we were both covered in dirt from fight practice earlier in the day. The slightly black eye and Angel's cut lip helped in our disguise as well.

"Miss! Miss, are you okay?" A cop ran up to us.

"Oh, thank goodness you're here officer!" I cried out. "This man, he, he just picked us up and threw us in his car! Come on, he's this way!" I cried, leading him in the opposite direction of Iggy and Gazzy.

Until I heard the giant boom, anyway.

I inwardly cringed. Dr. M was gonna kill us.

I waited for the black smoke from the explosion to come our way, but when none appeared, I got a little suspicious. But then I knew what happened, and I could tell when an awful stench wafted our way.

"For goodness sake, what the heck is _that?_" The cop coughed out, on his knees from the stench.

I heard cackling laughter in the distance. Looking in the direction of Iggy and Gazzy, I saw a green fog headed our way. "Awee c'mon, really Gazzy?" I groaned. "Does he realize that we're gonna have to run _into_ that?"

Agel giggled beside me, making her sound like Elmer Fudd because she was holding her nose. "I don't think he really cared."

I groaned again. Of course, Gazzy had to let out one of his special "powers" that moment. I looked down at the cop. To my surprise, he was passed out on the ground. "The stench must have been to much for him." I muttered to myself. "C'mon, Angel, let's go." Thankful that we had drawn attention away from ourselves, sort of, Angel and I sprinted into the thick green smoke.

"Gazzy! Iggy!" I called out.

"Over here!" Iggy shouted in my ear.

"Gosh, Ig, could ya scream any louder? I thought you were gonna explode the car!" Never thought that statement would exit my mouth.

"Well, we were, but there were to any people in the area. Someone would have gotten hit with shrapnel. So, Gazzy let one rip. Now the place is clear for blast off." He grinned and held up a hand for Gazzy to high five.

"Yeah! Max, you should have seen them running! Some even passed out!"

I ran a hand down my face. "Guys, let's just blow up the car and get out of here." I unfurled my wings and took off. The others were not far behind, wanting to get out of the scented death trap.

I have to admit, the scene below us was pretty comical. The small foresty area by the highway was filled with green "smoke", and the highway was just starting to feel the effects. People were ditching their cars and running from them, it was so bad. The helicopter had landed, but the operator must have regretted that decision, since he was frantically trying to start it up again.

Basically, it looked like this green fog of doom was chasing everyone into a mad oblivion.

Well, _I_ thought it was funny.

With the area clear of people (even the passed out cop we encountered woke up and ran away), Iggy brought out the trigger for the bomb. "Ready to blow this thing sky high?"

"Just do it, Iggy." I couldn't watch as Iggy pressed the button and my mom's little Volvo was blown into little pieces. A giant fire ball erupted in that one little spot as car parts were scattered everywhere.

The car up in flames, Gazzy and Iggy whooped and hollered. "That was _awesome!_ We have to do that again!"

"No." I said firmly. "You two are never allowed anywhere _near_ a car without me there, got it? This isn't happening again, not are we mentioning this little incident, _ever, got it?_" I glared at them.

"Aye aye, Captain!" Iggy mocked saluted as we began the ten mile flight back home.

**I told you it would be fine.**

_Holy crap, Voice, maybe you should knock next time before you barge into my brain unannounced._

**You know I can't do that, Maximum.**

_Yeah, yeah._

**What did you learn from this experience?**

_What, are you teaching life lessons now?_

**There was an important lesson to be learned here, Max, and I think you know what it is.**

_That Iggy, Gazzy, and Angel all lack common sense? _

**No, not that. You learned to loosen up. You know you had fun, even with all the chaos.**

I snorted, but then thought for a moment. The Voice was right. I know, big shocker there. But really, I actually had fun. In spite of the almost getting arrested, and getting into a car crash, and being suffocated by Gazzy's stench, it had been fun. I hadn't had fun in a long time.

**Exactly, Max. Learn to enjoy the moments that you have, even amongst everything in your life.**

I smiled. That was right, I needed to seize the moment. Enjoy life while we still had it, because we never knew when it was going to be taken from us.

When we landed in our front yard, we had Nudge and Fang there to great us. "ZOMG! Where did you guys go? We thought you were kidnapped! Then we saw that Dr. M's car was gone, and we thought someone stole it, so we reported it missing, and then they said that the thieves were in a car chase on the highway! And it blew up! And we were trying to find you guys and you weren't anywhere! And-" Nudge continued her rant while Fang and I exchanged our own conversation.

He raised his eyebrow at me, giving me one of his signature looks, a knowing smirk playing at his lips. We both walked in the house, leaving the others to deal with informing Nudge on what happened.

"You blew up your mom's car?" He asked, staring at me. I nodded. "You do realize this is all over the news, right?" I nodded again. He ran a hand through his messy black hair. "So, what are you gonna tell her?"

I blinked and then shrugged. "Honestly? No idea. Let's just go with Nudge's story and say it was stolen."

He nodded understandingly. "Gotchya." He paused for a moment. "This is one of those things we never bring up again, isn't it?" Once again, I only nodded. I guess the shock of what just happened was finally sinking in, since Fang was doing all the talking and I wasn't. I heaved out a sigh and plopped on the sofa.

That was when Ella walked in the room.

Crap. I forgot about her.

"Max! Did you see the news? There was some car chase down the road from here! They had live feed and everything! I can't believe you missed it! And, by the way, Iggy and Gazzy are making a bomb outside, thought you should know. Man, you guys should find something normal to do with your time. You know, like take the car out for a spin or something."

Oh, silly Ella. If only you knew. We are far from normal.

And, as Fang and I looked out the window at the flock, I realized I was perfectly okay with that.

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**What did ya think? Let me know! I hope it was good! Sorry for any errors. I edited/posted this at 2AM. Yay for no sleep! :P**


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